Hades

It was dark. Way too dark. And I was sweating. I couldn't breath. It felt like I was in hell. The only difference is that it was my particular hell. I was the only one in there, the only lost soul in this hell, and that thought gave me chills. It was too dark. I was trying to walk, with my hands in front of me, just to make sure I wouldn't run into anything. I couldn't find any light, couldn't find a way, couldn't find anybody to help me. It didn't matter if I screamed and screamed. I was all alone, drowning in the dark. I didn't know if the place I was in was big or small, if there was something in my way. I just felt all alone. And then I started to feel demons around me. They would pull my hair, scratch my skin, whisper bad things on my ears, and I could do nothing but stay in there. I couldn't reach them because I didn't know where they came from. All I knew is that I was alone in the dark, and I was very scared. And that's how depression feels like for me.

Sorrow

Why do people have to change?

They used to kiss my lips

But now they slap me in the face

Sometimes changes are good

But most times

It feels like they are not

And I feel so lost

I miss them

But I miss myself the most

I got tired of being a ghost

Who begs for life the most

I used to be fresh and pure,

-I believed-

Now I am dead and sad

The world made me mad

And I turned out to be impure

I miss their smile

But I miss mine the most

I miss their laugh and talks

But I miss mine the most

I miss their purity

But, really, I was never pure

I just miss being happy

Not thinking about suicide

I became a sad story to tell

All I gotta say is "goodbye".

Goodbye to myself...

Goodbye, fresh and free

Me

Teenage Rebel

Scars on her wrists

Vodka on her hands

Smile on her lips

It makes no sense

Deep talks

Light sleep

She loves walking

While drunk, when can't she think

She loves sex

But then she dies

'Cause after that

She feels a lie

About her past

That's why she cries

Still,

She turns them on

Leads them on

Then she says "no"

Thinks "where did I go?"

She drinks her alcohol

Smokes some cigarettes

With no regrets

Of recent past

That didn't last

More than a night

Hope that's alright

She's a teenage rebel

With scars on her wrists

Her mind's a twist

She's lot of trouble

Don't leave me alone

If you leave

I'll have nobody else

Than I'll never believe

I can reach help

I'll go back into my shell

Spend my time hurting myself

Until I die and go to hell

And then you'll find somebody else

Somebody that isn't sad

Dear Him

You're the one that listens to me

But you can't do everything

To help me with my disease

We talk

I cry

We walk

You don't want me to die

You need me alive

I want it to end

If I stay alive,

It never will

So let me take those pills

Other than that

Shoot me in the head

I'll die in your arms

But I'll die loved

There's no answer for me.

I was consumed by my disease

Feels bigger than me

I'm crazy

You see?!

I love you

Dear Mom and Dad

Leave me alone with my scars

Don't talk about them

As if they were nothing

'Cause it breaks my heart

Instead of talking

You could help

You say I'm "just scratching" myself

But you have no idea

Of what's on my mind and soul

So stop treating me this cold

Making me feel so alone

You say it's not depression

Maybe you're right

But there is something wrong with my head

Then help me

Don't judge me instead

You say I can't be crazy

I am not so sure

Instead of talking shit

Help me to find a cure

Before I'm gone

Gone forever

When suicide's done

And you wish you were clever

Clever enough to hear me screaming

Oh, whatever 

Suicide attack

Heart's beating faster

My control's gone

My hands are shaking

Everything's wrong

I am so done

Suicide's the only answer

But it can't really be

What if I kill myself

End up going to hell

Oh, please,

There's nothing else

Somebody, please, help

Cut

Cut

Cut

Slice your skin

Stare at the bottle of vodka

With 50 sleeping pills in your hands

Cry

Cry

Cry

Think about suicide

Think about talks

Think about hell

Please, stop

I gotta kill myself

Cry

Cry

Cry

Breath

Breath

Breath

The suicide attack is over

And I'm still here

Murder

She cries her soul

He thinks she's blessed by some God he doesn't even believe in. 

She's been forgiving

All the shit they did to her 

But deep in her heart 

Actually, she's sick of getting hurt 

It feels like If she confesses their sin 

She's the one to pay the price of the past

 In which she got really messed. 

She cries her soul 

He's here to tell her everything will be alright 

But 

How can he know? 

She doesn't even feel alive anymore. 

She screams 

She's been asking for help 

But some just pretend 

And others can't do anything else

They've got the power 

And they'll kill her 

Kill me 

Kill me 

Kill me 

Please do it fast I can't stand the past 

Haunting me like it haunts the poor souls  

Kill me 

Other than that I will do it myself 

And I'll make all of them regret 

They didn't give me any real help. 

And tell him 

Tell him I love him so 

He cured part of my soul 

But others killed the rest of it. 

And tell him 

Tell him I am so sorryI left him this way

 The only answer was suicide 

The other answer, they gave it away.

  

HELP ME

Naughty Zombie

Drugs

Scars 

Backseats of cars

Alcohol 

Depression 

But a little bit of passion 

Love 

Lies 

They all think I'm still alive 

My lungs still breath 

My heart still beats

But I am dead

As painful as it could get 

 I got there

Follow Me Down to the river tonight, I'll be down here on my knees

Suicide Note

She asked
"Do you think people with mental disorders that kill themselves will go to hell?"

Some said "Yes". And some said "No".
They wondered why she wanted to know.

Weeks later, they found her body.
She overdosed on sleeping pills.

People could only hear church bells
Little did they know
She already knew hell.

Our "Father", they lie about Heaven

I am not very religious
And there are many reasons for that
I cried and asked for help
But it feels like He doesn't care.

I went to church
The doors were closed.

How can the church's door be closed?

Isn't this His house?
Doesn't He want me in?
Am I such a plague
He treats me like a brat
An insignificant little rat

I drink
I cut
I binge
I purge

Excuse-me,
I can't help it when I feel the urge

"Where are you, God?"
I asked Him so many times
Isn't it odd
Have I committed so many crimes?

The fires of hell
Already burned all my face
I kept asking for help
But my bruises wouldn't fade.

Well, maybe He's fake

Amen.

Eyes

You made me wanna die

You made me live so many lies

You made me feel sick

My soul was heavy as a brick

You made me feel unworthy it

There was no way to work it

The way you looked me in the eyes

You made me wanna die

So I did

Freedom

A little bird

Needs to feel free

Not tied inside a cage

Where it's soul would burn

A little bird

Should find its way

And fly so happy

Just fly away

A little bird

Shouldn't feel lonely

Than fly with me

You and I only

Fallen for the angel

An Angel came to visit me
He looked me in the eyes
And he kissed my scars
I didn't stop asking myself
How I let him go so far

The Angel opened his wings
I've never felt so amazed
He put me inside his arms
I couldn't help but notice
He had some battle scars

The Angel was so strong
I kept wondering why
He was trying to save a girl so wrong

I fell for the Angel
And he fell for me
The most beautiful love
Indeed

Being as in love with him as I am
Nobody would ever understand

Have you ever known depression?

Have you ever
Felt so depressed
You couldn't even feel your body?

Have you ever
Done what they told you not to do
Just to act a little naughty?

Have you ever
Sliced your skin
Just to feel something?

Have you ever
Done drugs
Because your mind felt like nothing?

Have you ever
Starved yourself
Just so you could feel in control?

Have you ever
lost your mind
But you had to cry it low?

Well, I have.

Endless pain

Endless pain

Won't go away

Endless pain

Will find its way

To me

Endless pain

Doesn't let me speak

Endless pain

Is tourturing me

Endless pain

Please leave

Endless pain

Let me breath

Endless pain

Has drowned me

I died

Of pain.

The Endless pain

Never went away

Lonely

You're here

But I'm so far away

I never let you say

What I need to hear

I'm such a 

Child

Whore

Wild

Hardcore

                        girl

I'm sorry

I push everyone away

From this hole

That is my world

But, really...

what else can I actually say?

Crazy

The world is so full of hate

Hate and desire.

I think they admire

Someone else's pain

It's just that easy to say

You want to be insane.

For me, sanity

Feels so far away

You're so lazy

To understand

What "crazy"

Means to me