quarta-feira, 26 de junho de 2013


It was dark. Way too dark. And I was sweating. I couldn't breath. It felt like I was in hell. The only difference is that it was my particular hell. I was the only one in there, the only lost soul in this hell, and that thought gave me chills. It was too dark. I was trying to walk, with my hands in front of me, just to make sure I wouldn't run into anything. I couldn't find any light, couldn't find a way, couldn't find anybody to help me. It didn't matter if I screamed and screamed. I was all alone, drowning in the dark. I didn't know if the place I was in was big or small, if there was something in my way. I just felt all alone. And then I started to feel demons around me. They would pull my hair, scratch my skin, whisper bad things on my ears, and I could do nothing but stay in there. I couldn't reach them because I didn't know where they came from. All I knew is that I was alone in the dark, and I was very scared. And that's how depression feels like for me.

segunda-feira, 24 de junho de 2013


Why do people have to change?
They used to kiss my lips
But now they slap me in the face

Sometimes changes are good
But most times
It feels like they are not
And I feel so lost

I miss them
But I miss myself the most
I got tired of being a ghost
Who begs for life the most

I used to be fresh and pure,
-I believed-
Now I am dead and sad
The world made me mad
And I turned out to be impure

I miss their smile
But I miss mine the most
I miss their laugh and talks
But I miss mine the most
I miss their purity
But, really, I was never pure

I just miss being happy
Not thinking about suicide
I became a sad story to tell
All I gotta say is "goodbye".

Goodbye to myself...

Goodbye, fresh and free

sábado, 22 de junho de 2013

Teenage Rebel

Scars on her wrists
Vodka on her hands
Smile on her lips
It makes no sense

Deep talks
Light sleep
She loves walking
While drunk, when can't she think

She loves sex
But then she dies
'Cause after that
She feels a lie
About her past
That's why she cries

She turns them on
Leads them on
Then she says "no"
Thinks "where did I go?"

She drinks her alcohol
Smokes some cigarettes
With no regrets
Of recent past
That didn't last
More than a night
Hope that's alright

She's a teenage rebel
With scars on her wrists
Her mind's a twist
She's lot of trouble

quinta-feira, 20 de junho de 2013

Don't leave me alone

If you leave
I'll have nobody else
Than I'll never believe
I can reach help

I'll go back into my shell
Spend my time hurting myself
Until I die and go to hell
And then you'll find somebody else

Somebody that isn't sad

quarta-feira, 19 de junho de 2013

Dear Him

You're the one that listens to me
But you can't do everything
To help me with my disease

We talk
I cry
We walk
You don't want me to die
You need me alive

I want it to end
If I stay alive,
It never will
So let me take those pills

Other than that
Shoot me in the head
I'll die in your arms
But I'll die loved

There's no answer for me.
I was consumed by my disease
Feels bigger than me
I'm crazy
You see?!

I love you

Dear Mom and Dad

Leave me alone with my scars
Don't talk about them
As if they were nothing
'Cause it breaks my heart

Instead of talking
You could help
You say I'm "just scratching" myself
But you have no idea
Of what's on my mind and soul
So stop treating me this cold
Making me feel so alone

You say it's not depression
Maybe you're right
But there is something wrong with my head
Then help me
Don't judge me instead

You say I can't be crazy
I am not so sure
Instead of talking shit
Help me to find a cure

Before I'm gone
Gone forever
When suicide's done
And you wish you were clever
Clever enough to hear me screaming

Oh, whatever 

Suicide attack

Heart's beating faster
My control's gone
My hands are shaking
Everything's wrong
I am so done
Suicide's the only answer
But it can't really be
What if I kill myself
End up going to hell
Oh, please,
There's nothing else
Somebody, please, help
Slice your skin
Stare at the bottle of vodka
With 50 sleeping pills in your hands
Think about suicide
Think about talks
Think about hell
Please, stop
I gotta kill myself
The suicide attack is over
And I'm still here


She cries her soul

He thinks she's blessed by some God he doesn't even believe in. 

She's been forgiving
All the shit they did to her 
But deep in her heart 
Actually, she's sick of getting hurt 

It feels like If she confesses their sin 
She's the one to pay the price of the past
 In which she got really messed. 

She cries her soul 

He's here to tell her everything will be alright 

How can he know? 
She doesn't even feel alive anymore. 

She screams 
She's been asking for help 
But some just pretend 
And others can't do anything else

They've got the power 
And they'll kill her 

Kill me 
Kill me 
Kill me 
Please do it fast I can't stand the past 
Haunting me like it haunts the poor souls  

Kill me 
Other than that I will do it myself 
And I'll make all of them regret 
They didn't give me any real help. 

And tell him 
Tell him I love him so 
He cured part of my soul 
But others killed the rest of it. 

And tell him 
Tell him I am so sorryI left him this way
 The only answer was suicide 
The other answer, they gave it away.


terça-feira, 18 de junho de 2013

Naughty Zombie

Backseats of cars

But a little bit of passion 

They all think I'm still alive 

My lungs still breath 
My heart still beats
But I am dead
As painful as it could get 

 I got there

domingo, 16 de junho de 2013

Suicide Note

She asked
"Do you think people with mental disorders that kill themselves will go to hell?"

Some said "Yes". And some said "No".
They wondered why she wanted to know.

Weeks later, they found her body.
She overdosed on sleeping pills.

People could only hear church bells
Little did they know
She already knew hell.

Our "Father", they lie about Heaven

I am not very religious
And there are many reasons for that
I cried and asked for help
But it feels like He doesn't care.

I went to church
The doors were closed.

How can the church's door be closed?

Isn't this His house?
Doesn't He want me in?
Am I such a plague
He treats me like a brat
An insignificant little rat

I drink
I cut
I binge
I purge

I can't help it when I feel the urge

"Where are you, God?"
I asked Him so many times
Isn't it odd
Have I committed so many crimes?

The fires of hell
Already burned all my face
I kept asking for help
But my bruises wouldn't fade.

Well, maybe He's fake



You made me wanna die
You made me live so many lies

You made me feel sick
My soul was heavy as a brick

You made me feel unworthy it
There was no way to work it

The way you looked me in the eyes
You made me wanna die

So I did

sexta-feira, 14 de junho de 2013


A little bird
Needs to feel free
Not tied inside a cage
Where it's soul would burn

A little bird
Should find its way
And fly so happy
Just fly away

A little bird
Shouldn't feel lonely
Than fly with me
You and I only

quarta-feira, 12 de junho de 2013

Fallen for the angel

An Angel came to visit me
He looked me in the eyes
And he kissed my scars
I didn't stop asking myself
How I let him go so far

The Angel opened his wings
I've never felt so amazed
He put me inside his arms
I couldn't help but notice
He had some battle scars

The Angel was so strong
I kept wondering why
He was trying to save a girl so wrong

I fell for the Angel
And he fell for me
The most beautiful love

Being as in love with him as I am
Nobody would ever understand

Have you ever known depression?

Have you ever
Felt so depressed
You couldn't even feel your body?

Have you ever
Done what they told you not to do
Just to act a little naughty?

Have you ever
Sliced your skin
Just to feel something?

Have you ever
Done drugs
Because your mind felt like nothing?

Have you ever
Starved yourself
Just so you could feel in control?

Have you ever
lost your mind
But you had to cry it low?

Well, I have.

quinta-feira, 6 de junho de 2013

Endless pain

Endless pain
Won't go away
Endless pain
Will find its way
To me

Endless pain
Doesn't let me speak
Endless pain
Is tourturing me

Endless pain
Please leave
Endless pain
Let me breath
Endless pain
Has drowned me

I died
Of pain.

The Endless pain
Never went away


You're here
But I'm so far away
I never let you say
What I need to hear

I'm such a 

I'm sorry
I push everyone away
From this hole
That is my world
But, really...
what else can I actually say?


The world is so full of hate
Hate and desire.
I think they admire
Someone else's pain

It's just that easy to say
You want to be insane.
For me, sanity
Feels so far away

You're so lazy
To understand
What "crazy"
Means to me